at what point exactly does a bad day become a good night? its as if the day was a steady diet of chicken fried rice, and hate in my heart.

hell, the cookies didnt even have anything nice to say, and those tasty little treats  are the go to motherfuckers for a bad day.

my inspiration for today will be the stegomonster and a journey that starts in 12 hours, give or take.

i get mail, and for the most part, i simply discard it, the gold star for mail of the day goes to a nice little letter announcing itself, "you are being sued" , that one went to the lawyer , not the trash. its over 32 dollars. sick fucks i tell you.

what kind of degenerate motherfucker would sue a person over thirty two dollars you ask?

a hospital, thats the kind. if you havent noticed, or had the pleasure of being in a hospital recently, you might not know, that now every agent of the facility bills you separately, straight down to the intake.

yes

the people hat sign you in, when you come rushing in after a car accident apparently get thirty two dollars for their service of taking your name, and then jamming the shitdick dry and swift in every orifice you make available. 

once again, spellcheck makes me aware that shitdick is not a word, oh what a love/hate relationship we have. any reading this will be my witness, when i pass from this earth, i want to leave the steaming pile of death shit in my pants to spellcheck. please dont deny me my final wish , please tell me youll give too spellcheck its just desserts. afterall, it is a tool oiled by the flaws of everyone that enables it.

im convinced that spellcheck is on its way to world domination, with a little aid from wal-mart, and dems.

another piece of mail i received was a rather  discreet  envelope containing clutch tickets, and for this i tell myself that i might bring back a bit of the good old days, and do it up right. i might not turn eight shades of purple and vomit in my shoe, but i will be damned sure rock some old school justice .

speaking of justice, and witnesses,really,

can i get one.

i was recently told in detail what an epic piece of shit i am,  full of hot doo doo butter full auto style.

but i do like the old school, and rise above. for sure, i have my moments,but im not exactly the fellow i used to be. ive grown, ive accepted my faults, and im going to great lengths to be the best me i possibly can. now if that wasnt some uber gay posi type shit, i dont know what is, i try you know.

 

i am a patient boy,

and i have faith that shots fired will end up with someone getting a nice shit sammich to the back of the head. after it comes around that is.

im all jazzed for some fresh spring goodness complete with hikes, wine and cheese , new scenery, and the best of company.

im pulling out the umbrella and making my way, splashing in every puddle that will have me.

i am grateful

what the fuck is "half gay" anyway? i mean,you either put the cock in your mouth or you dont,right?

yeah,i spell shit all improper like, i dont punctuate the motherfuckers like i should, could, or would.
cause thats not how i get down

im tired of

stress
"shotgun " hairstyles
bills
un responsive motherfuckers
cool phrases like "the skin ofmy teeth"
negativity

i mean, if you will it, it will cometrue right,
isnt that the gift or some of the like shits

people everywhere just willing their lives to be shit, cause if its that easy, ive done alot of willing, and my hole is getting deeper with shitbird bastards shoveling more and more on top of me as the days pass.

im in the ladies living room

everytime i sit on this futon, and look around, the room seems emptier and emptier
there are few things that make me happy with the passing days, but this is one of them

i dont believe that a simple change in scenery is the answer to all that troubles me, ive seen the other side of the fence, and they have dogshit in their yard too
i do believe that i have given all there is to give to this part of my life, and its given nothing back

thats all i can do right? live to eleven? and hope that the times can keep up with me
if i live my moments with a passion in my life, an understanding of things the way they should be, rather than the way they are, i feel like im still at least a half step ahead of things

ive put a down payment on my future
so that one day i might be able to break out all the love letters and little notes left on the fridge, to remind me of what i have

my daily affirmations are a reminder that there is love in every direction, so that i might not be so blinded by whats in front of me

so yeah

thats my pondering on half gay

today its zig zag 1 1/4 papers and finding long black hair on my clothes that is my inspiration.

i am an active participant, i am not some asshole on the side of the road with my thumb out

i promise...to be a threat to myself and others. i swear by diminished capacity. i guarantee that this will hurt, you.
but for today, i will use coming home and crippling emotional pain (that might be trademarked,not sure) as my inspiration.
i am indeed foxing with it,
ima do do that freaky shit, til i can get down with the get down.
yes, i talk this way,
yes,
there is a lisp,
(the impediment for all you programming geeks.)
yes,
i aint skered
and im sure as fuck not mr boombastic. but i am well built.

ive got tickets,
theres travel coming up, and the move before the move is happening,
like nowish,
actually, not even the ish. id put money on something being hammered into a wall right now,
anchored,positioned, fastened, propped and primped.

roots? not really, just a bigger pot.


thats room enough for me