drugging the days

as much as some people might speak to the contrary, im a lover, not a fighter.  indeed, there have been exceptions, in fact, quite a few. but, addressing that, well, possibly another day.

today, my inspiration will be bobby pins and eye contact. 

 if only life were as simple as business eh,

partners, shareholders,stock, dividends.

 my life, not so simple, ive always rolled more as a "thick as thieves" sort of cat.  the majority shareholder you might say. always having some type of chart or list in the back of my head, 

yes,no, and maybe columns. little circles with pretty colors, or crude pencil drawings on my wall to decide my fate, make my decisions for me, as to alleviate any pressure, or guilt when shit went wrong. i mean, fuck it, lists are the type of shit that makes the government work, who am i to argue.

 constantly weighing the pro,con, and who fucking cares aspects of something before i resign myself to it. that analytical thinking had always served me well in the past, or at least i'd thought so. 

so somewhere, that went out the window,(yeah, just like the violent femmes song) maybe when i was referred to as a maniac for the thousandth time. ( i am not a maniac by the way, my right hand is the dominant hand, and everyone knows that maniacs are left handed).

yeah, so, out the window. ive given up on lists for the time being, i mean, im not saying that im going to stop paying my bills or anything, but im certainly not putting a watch on anytime soon.

, i have found myself invested. the kind of business brothers sang really sickening love songs about in the fifties, the other other kind of business, you know, the one that makes you go "num num num num"

i am damn well frightened of the days to come, and how terribly they  may treat me, but i welcome them as friends , hoping that i might drug them, and speak the truth while they sleep.

 

yes indeed my friends, i am a bit out of sorts these days, they are strange, and as i cant prove that im not a maniac, i can sure as hell tell you, 

im not left handed